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Madness takes its toll Tuesday [14 Jul 2009|03:38am]

miintikwa
[ mood | cranky ]

Who is to say what
is crazy and what is
sane in this mad world?




One of the things I've heard too much lately is how great I'm doing, how I must be 'better.'

Um. No. I don't talk about my various problems because, quite frankly, there's enough stuff going on that my physical and/or mental woes are the least of my problems right now.

I'm dealing. My cope at home is at a fair level, because of two things. The first being that I don't really have a choice, and the second being that I have very good coping strategies in place. I go play City of Heroes or some other video game when I can't deal. Getting lost in another world is always a good way to 'fix' the problem, for me.

Unfortunately, I have to admit, the few people that I heard that from made me sad. Because, you see, you don't just get better from the things that I deal with, and the idea that you could, or can, or will...

It's a nice fantasy. It's one that I wish I could entertain. It's one I miss. I miss the easy life. The life I had before I got all these diagnoses-- and the simple fact that I had to restrain myself from swearing there, because really, the word 'diagnoses' should always have the f-word in front of it in my world, tells me how frustrated I really got over this whole situation.

And I think that's the dichotomy. My cope at home is great. My cope in the online world... Not so much. I recently cut someone-- and I've been making Twitter cuts left, right, and center-- because I simply cannot and will not be drawn into stupid internet drama. Period. My ability to put up with real life drama of people that I love and know in real life (outside of C, naturally) has gone down a lot. In order to maintain that-- in order to ensure that I don't end up going off on someone who doesn't deserve it, you had better believe I'm going to tell you that your fight with someone over something petty is exactly that. I may do it politely or tactfully at first-- because I will try to be nice-- but I'm not going to bite my tongue any longer.

I digress.

Telling me I must be getting better is insulting. (And I'm kind of proud of the fact that I told the people involved-- as politely as I could-- that fact.) Mental illness doesn't go away, so what? I'm supposed to suddenly wake up one day and be cured of my bipolar disorder? I manage it well, sometimes. But it isn't going to go away.

And every waking moment of my life I am reminded that the fibro isn't going away. So I sincerely hope they weren't talking about that. Of course, online makes it difficult to discern pain. You can't see the little creases above my eyebrows that I get when I'm in pain. Or the purple hollows beneath my eyes when I push myself too hard because I'm not going to let someone that I've planned something with down. And no, I'm not going to talk about it all the time. I don't like talking about it. It's boring. It's there. It's always going to be there. I am constantly having to come up with new and different ways of dealing with the crap it throws at me. Just when I think I've adjusted to it, it throws me a curve ball, and I end up having to go to the doctor, or find a new doctor, or find a new drug...

...and yeah, same with the bipolar. I've just been actively dealing with the fibro longer, so I have a higher annoyance factor with it.

And, joy of joys, I get to deal with this crap for the rest of my life. Is it any wonder that people with these illnesses kill themselves? (Nota bene: I am not, in any way/shape/form suicidal. I am just sayin'.)

Better. It's such a nice thought.

I wish I could get better.
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 7

:D [14 Jul 2009|04:10pm]

dante_deo
[ mood | accomplished ]

The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 3

ACB convention [13 Jul 2009|11:44pm]
latinanewschic
[ mood | content ]

I attended the ACB convention in Orlando for the first time in Orlando My flight left at 10:30 AM, so no early morning for me!!! I got all of my belongings in to a large backpack and a medium-sized purse, so no checked luggage!!! However, I stupidly left all of my toiletries on the table, so I had to buy them when I got there. I had no security or transfer problems, and I got the the shuttle just fine. I met another pennsylvania person on the shuttle and we talked about convention since I had never been there before.
There was check in drama, since I was the first person in the room and was paying with a credit card. After 40 minutes, they charged my portion and left the other twofor later. After begging in the room for an hour, I wandered to get food. I ordered three slices of pizza and coke, thinking they were small.Three of thepieces were like six of dominos, OMG, so much food!!! Later, my second roommate, Erin, came. She is awesome. She helped me set up my netbook. I didn't know you could do that with narrator, enterin the administrative info, windows settings, ETC. After that point, I could use system access to go, since I hadn't brought my JAWS and was't connected to the internet at that point. We had a nice discussion about Sociology, since that was her major, and we complained aout research methods and statistics.
The next day, we had breakfast with Sue and John Buckley, members from Erin's aaphiliate in Tennessee. We discussed ACB vs. NFB, and other things, since John has his doctorate and Sue used to manage a YMCA. I think Sarah, 3kitties, came. She was sick the first day se wass there, and I don't really remember everything we did that day. Oh, at some point, two hotel staff showed us around, the emergency exits and the basic layout. We also made a gift shop stop since I had to buy toiletries and Erin needed shampoo, since her airline threw it away, even though it was in her checked luggage.
I went to the exhibit hall and made the whole circuit the first day. I saw familiar technology and ti was fun to look at new things from each company. Throughout the week, I bought an adventurine ring, a garnet necklace, an opal, a Braille alphabet bracelet, and a flamingo bracelet from a blind vender. We also went to the GDUI suie where I bought lab earrings, a harness sign/pouch, and Guide Dog Handlers First Hand.
Sarah, Erin, Kevin, and I spent a lot of time together, eating in the cafe, drinking coffee (in my case hot chocolate,( and just talking and laughing. One day, after all of us went to the exhibit hall we met Pawpower, Lisasalli, and Maia, who sells cool dog accessories. We made another trip back to the GDUI suite where I bought a cat bell, a clip with two regular bells, and a keychain with a glass pendant that says peace in Braille.
Some night, we met Megan, Glen, Amanda, and Kerrie and had dinner at the caf. After that, I went to Amanda's room with her, Kerrie, Megan, Glen, and eventually Amber, who used to be an NFB member. I had fun with them as well as Hester, Buddy, and Boots, the dogs.
I visited Rox and Lisa a few times and bothered their dogs too.
I did actually go to a few ACB events, the GDUI ones where Kathy Nimmer spoke about her book two plus four equals one, an anthology of service dog stories and poems. I would like to submit something for it, I just don't know what. I also saw Seeing Eye instructors Barbara, Jan, and Lucas. It was nice and awkward at the same time, sice Barb worked with Zorro and I during training and retirement process. I also met people from all guide dog schools and asked them questions.
There was a speaker who did animal rescues. He rescued a dog from huricane Katrina, and he kept it with him in the trailor, even when he sent all of the others back with volunteers. A man and his son *walked* to the animal rescue trailors; his wife had died during the huricane and they couldn't get out since they had no gas money. The terrier he had been keeping belonged to the little boy, and it made him feel comforted during the grieving time.
Tuesday was Magic Kingdom@!!! I've never been there before, so I was really excited. I met Natasha caninespirit while walkign through the park and we connected wih Jill and dog Holly, Mike and dog Rick, and an older lady Marilyn. We went to many shops, looking for jewelry and other souvenirs. We went on the teacups and Mike and Marilyn held the dogs. We went somewhere where I had chicken nuggets and fries. Later, we went on the winnie the Pooh ride,, which was cute and shopped there too. Marilyn wandered away so we spent awhile worrying and trying to figure out whereshe was. She was all the way near the outside of the park!!! We spent some time lost but didn't do too badly, which was great. We and the dogs were totally exhausted and were glad to go back to the hotel.
Erin is considering applying for a guide dog!!! She loves dogs and is a toy poodle breeder. She and her friend are also starting a pet supply business, and that is aweome!!! She left Thursday, and I was glad to spend so much time with her and hope we se each other again!!!
Friday, Amanda, Rox, Lisa, Maia, and I went to Cracker Barrel, wher I had chicken fingers, fries macaroni and cheese, biscuits, coke, and hot chocolate. We stopped in the gift shop, were I bought a huge Mr. Good bar and pop rocks. Rox'e decided to have pop rocks with coke and we could hear th fizz from the next room. I didn't sleep at all, packed my stuff and went to the airport. I had no problems there or on my three flights and finally got home at 2:30 Saturday.
Sorry for the incoherency; I thinkk I am still recovering from my vacation, :)!!! 'm glaad I met all of you from LJ and will hopefully do it again some time!!!!

The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

Beckie, ACB convention [13 Jul 2009|11:16pm]
latinanewschic
[ mood | content ]

Five days before ACB convention, I went to Millersville to hang out with Beckie and her friends for her birthday. I took a train from here to Lancastor. No transportation problems, just annoying people. I purchased my tickets online and had to pick them up at the window. I asked a person sitting in the station where is the ticket counter? He showed me and the person gave me my tickets and said he would come get me when it was time to board. The man who helped me get to the counter said, now you sit here, the man wil come get you, ok? *pats shoulder* OMG, I amm not a child or a person incapable of thought, sigh sighted people sometimes.
After I got to the train station, Beckie, Josey, Warren, and I went to the burger king and the mall. I bought a brush and bonine because I get motion sick on rides. When we were leavig the mall, we bought smoothie/slushy drinks and spent forever wwalking around the entire parking lot, Since Josey forgot where she parked the car. Later, we went to a party with fire spinners. They also spit fire by putting lamp oil in their mouths and blowing on huge sticks. They also danced with the sticks and everyone said it was really cool.
The next day was Hershey Park!!! We went on the swings, the tilt-a-wirl, teacups, whip, some music thing, the log floom, and a couple of other rides. We also ate soooo much food. I had a hot dog, fries, huge soda, huge s'more, and more drinks. I met Beckie's friend Lynn and had a Harry Potter discussion while Beckie and Co. were waiting in line for the roller coaster.
Monday, I went to Beckie's writer's workshop class. The question was what is your passion and how has that passion hurt you or changed you, something like that. Guess what I wrote about, the first two don't count LOL, dogs. Afterwards, we went to the Millersville University store where I bought a wallet and parrot keychain. We had lunch at the Sugarbowl, where I had chicken fingers and fries. During lunch,GDB *finally* called and said someone is coming between July 29 and August sixth for my interview. I asked Beckie if I could stay with her since she lives in Bloomsburg and I want to be on campus for my route. She said yes, so I will be in Bloomsburg some time soon. Later, we were going to go to CC's pizza but got lost and ended up going to Five Guys, a place with amazing burgers and fries!
Josey accidentally pulled the tubing for insulin out of her leg and was almost out of supplies, but Beckie talked her into staying till Tuesday. We went to the Olive Garden where Beckie and Josey ate the soup and salad special and I ate nothing because I can't eat before I travel long distances. We made it to the train station with only five minutes to spare, and I had no problems going home.
The next day was 7:45 AM work. We went to Jennifer's to work on ssetting up her gmail account in windows live mail. We also talked about guide dogs. She applied to leader and they *finally* got back to her after a year. She said she thoughthat was normal time and I assured her it wasn't. Some of her paperwork got lost which caused the year wait. She applied to the Guide Dog Fondation while I was there because of the combo training of class and at home. She has some health problems so the less time far away, the better. Afterwards, I went to India's, where we did more gmail and downloaded descriptive movies and talked.

The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

On the fence on G.I. Joe live action [13 Jul 2009|10:36pm]

lordrexfear
Plus= RAIN as Storm Shadow
Minus = Marlon Wayans?!?!?
Minus= Oh wait, that's not RAIN... it's Byung-hun Lee?!
Plus= Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Heavy Duty
Minus = The newest TV trailer isn't very thrilling
Plus= The online trailer is a bit better.

Not that any of this matters, I suck when it comes to even going to movies. I still haven't seen UP, or Public Enemies...
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 4

Takin' Care of Business [13 Jul 2009|10:08pm]
lisasali
[ mood | sick ]

I'm back from my trip to the ACB Convention, and will write a post about it at some point. However, I'm sick at the moment. I'm not deathly ill, just not the picture of health. I'm running a low grade fever, tired, sore throat, coughing, etc. I really need to be well by Wednesday because I'm speaking to two groups of twelve teenagers, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I'm talking about the technology I use and taking questions, oh, and there's going to be a bit of guide dog stuff in there for good measure. These are teens with various degrees of blindness. So, it would be helpful if I could use my voice without it squeaking or dying altogether, and it would be nice if the fever was all gone so I'd have my wits about me. I feel like I'm just living on the border of coherence at this point. I worked today, which is another story for another time, came home, and took a nap. I'm catching up on the net for a little while, and then it's back to bed for me.
I also did a bit of a friends' list clean-up. I always feel like I need to explain myself when I do this. It's nothing personal, honestly, I just feel like I can't keep up, and needed to make some changes.
Thanks for reading my rambles, and I'll produce something of a bit more substance in the near future.

The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 4

July: The Graveyard Book [13 Jul 2009|09:49pm]
book_cuddler
[awallens]
 The Graveyard Book The
Graveyard Book
by Neil Gaiman


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Bod is an unusual boy who inhabits an unusual place-he's the only
living resident of a graveyard. Raised from infancy by the ghosts, werewolves, and other

cemetery denizens, Bod has learned the antiquated customs of his guardians' time as well as their timely ghostly teachings-like the ability to Fade.



Can a boy raised by ghosts face the wonders and terrors of the worlds of both the living and the dead? And then there are things like ghouls that aren't

really one thing or the other.



This chilling tale is Neil Gaiman's first full-length novel for middle-grade readers since the internationally bestselling and universally acclaimed
Coraline.

Like Coraline, this book is sure to enchant and surprise young readers as well as Neil Gaiman's legion of adult fans.

Unlike Coraline which I read and adored from page one, this book took me a long time to get into. Once I did though, I didn't want it to end. I
am wondering if there will be a sequel. I feel there is more to Bod I need to know.




View all my reviews >>
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

[13 Jul 2009|06:40pm]

treads_thin_ice
[ mood | devious ]

I'm posting twice in the two week period. Aren't I ambitious? Just as a warning, there might be those who don't get posts done during this time, and there will obviously be no penalties considering all that's happened. It's another free two weeks.

I'm rather enjoying the idea of catching the philanderer wannnabe John. I hope so much that he takes the bait, and bites it very hard. Reeling him in will be the utmost pleasure for me. Gayle deserves better, and if I have the chance to make sure she gets that, I'll do all I can. It's just an added bonus that I can enjoy myself while doing it.

The weather is cooler today, after a couple of unpleasant days. It's been in the 50s/60s all day, prompting Doug to whine and others to feel relief. Being pregnant, especially this pregnant, in hot weather is no fun, so I'm on the feeling relief side. The more cool days we have, the better I like it.

I'm getting very antsy for the little rugrat to get here. I have no idea if it's a boy or a girl, and I prefer it that way. We've been discussing names recently, and have narrowed it down to a few for each, but we still haven't decided completely. Even Destiny and Griffin have opinions on it, so we'll see how it goes. Names are very important, after all, and need to have deep thought put into them.

With everything going on here, it's difficult to find something pleasant to talk about. Too many are once again in the hospital, but then, one is too many. It's such a different world for gang members and those who share that world, that it must seem surreal and at least somewhat impossible to those not a part of it. To think that so many people face this kind of thing every single day of their lives is sad. It's even sadder to think that most of society doesn't care, and blames them for it.

Before I get too far into that, I'll end this. I have some plotting to do, after all. I do enjoy that as a distraction.

Take care, everyone!

The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 3

July: Viruses, Plagues and History [13 Jul 2009|09:45pm]
book_cuddler
[awallens]
 Viruses, Plagues, andHistory Viruses,
Plagues, and History
by Michael B. A. Oldstone


My rating: 2 of 5 stars
this book examines viruses such as yellow fever, measles and polio
which have been eradicated or nearly so. It examines how these viruses changed history and how viruses such as AIDS and how a flu epidemic may change
history. It has a few chapters dedicated to viruses, how they form, what they do to the body, etc. Those chapters were a bit repetative, and overall
I was left relieved I had finished the book. It was an OK read, but a bit to heavy and out-of-date for me.


View all my reviews >>
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

Shainin::Daily Post [13 Jul 2009|08:06pm]

coldironkiss
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY [13 Jul 2009|07:37pm]

popfiend
[ mood | calm ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to [info]enderfem, Esq.

I hope your day has been a celebration of the awesome that is you and that every day in the coming year is another celebration.

Be well and be happy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

*raises glass* (yeah, that's a bad pun on your first name...deal :D)
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 1

HAPPY BIRTHDAY [13 Jul 2009|07:06pm]

popfiend
[ mood | calm ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to [info]purplevenus!

I hope today has brought you peace of mind, peace of the heart and peace of the soul.

I hope that today and every day in the coming year brings you light, laughter and joy.

SMILE BIG and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 1

Pimping a friend (reviewed by PW)... [13 Jul 2009|06:37pm]

popfiend
[ mood | geeky ]

Rosemary and Rue Seanan McGuire ([info]seanan_mcguire). DAW, $7.99 (368p) ISBN 978-0-7564-0571-7

Singer-songwriter McGuire adeptly infuses her debut with hardboiled sensibilities and a wide array of mythological influences, set against a moody San Francisco backdrop. October “Toby” Daye is half-human, half-faerie, a changeling PI with a foot in both worlds. After spending 14 years as a fish following a botched assignment, she's desperate to avoid magic, but the dying curse of a murdered elven lady forces her to investigate the killing, with the price of failure being Toby's own painful death. Toby struggles with court intrigue, magical mayhem, would-be assassins and her own past, always driven by the need to succeed and survive. Well researched, sharply told, highly atmospheric and as brutal as any pulp detective tale, this promising start to a new urban fantasy series is sure to appeal to fans of Jim Butcher or Kim Harrison. (Sept.)

The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 2

Poem Of The Week: The Cliffside Path By Algernon Charles Swinburne [13 Jul 2009|10:31pm]
witchynews
This year is the centenary of the death of Algernon Charles Swinburne, a fascinating writer whose range of subjects was unusual, even for the protean Victorians. "Anactoria", for instance, is a lesbian love poem in the persona of Sappho, tinged with the poet's own sadomasochistic predilections. However, in a series of roundels about babyhood he wrote as charmingly as any Victorian parent could wis
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

Belper's Well Dressing On Display [13 Jul 2009|10:31pm]
witchynews
Belper's well dressings went on display in the memorial gardens this weekend.

Dozens of the displays were put up in the King Street gardens on Saturday, July 11.

Contributions were made by local schools, organisations and members of the community.

The well dressings will be on display until the end of the week.

Modern well dressings are based on an ancient Pagan tradition to thank t
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

New Age Comes In Many Forms [13 Jul 2009|10:31pm]
witchynews
Tim Miejan became the editor of a New Age magazine this year.

And he found himself smack in the middle of the shifting, fractured New Age world — where beliefs change faster than you can flip a tarot card.

"We are about what it means to be human, in the metaphysical, holistic and spiritual realms," said Miejan, of Woodbury, who bought The Edge magazine with a partner in February.

It's not
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

Finally back in the saddle... [13 Jul 2009|05:01pm]

lilmissmagic71
[ mood | busy ]

So here I am, finally making a post after... how long?  Argh.  I don't even want to think about it.  I have been busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.  First with moving... then school, piano classes, summer activities... then, of course, I volunteered for staff at Border Raids (an SCA event)... And now I have been asked to be the Minister of Arts and Sciences for our Shire and I volunteered to produce a Shire newsletter as well....  all of this while attempting to get MAJOR contracted work done on my new property...

Of course, John starts preschool in a few weeks... and it is an all day program... meaning I will have (hopefully) more time to devote to stuff...

One hopes.

~misty... busy bee

The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 10

An interesting change to Google Images [13 Jul 2009|05:44pm]

lordrexfear
Do a google image search on say... the color red.

There's this new filter, that will allow you see only red images that are marked as red.

an image showing the new color filer for google image search

Not sure how I or anyone can use this to any real purpose, but it's interesting.
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

Mark Harmon and a mustache.... [13 Jul 2009|05:26pm]

lordrexfear
First time I'm seeing this episode of NCIS and I gotta say...
that mustache does him no good.

He looks... just really weird. Like Kevin Kline's clone where they messed up a bit.
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

Shainin::Insomnia - time to bust out the shaman cloak [13 Jul 2009|05:18pm]

coldironkiss
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )
The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 1

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