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[lj idol] week 5: means to an end [Thursday November 19th, 2009 at 8:38am ] Dear Shamor, They say I bore false witness to the death that happened about a month ago. They say my account was off. They say by doing what I did, I have only made things worse for me. But...it wasn't. You know this. It was true, all of it. But they say doing it, and witnessing it aren't the same things. Witnessing it from the sidelines is different, they say. But I did witness it. I witnessed him as he drank the cup I gave him, as he laied out on the ground and drew the final breath he would take in this world. As his body went limp in the forever sleep of death...And I revelled in it. And as I walked away I knew I had done the right thing by doing what I'd done. But now they have me for purgery because they say my account of watching him die from another's hand is false. I hear the stories. They say I was trying to escape the law, escape justice. They say horrible things about me. Eye witnesses say they saw me do it. I did it. But I can also bear witness to *watching* it, can't I? There's no difference between giving and recieving the gift of what you've given...is there? Is there not a time where you may give and recieve at once? The witnessing is the same no matter the activity in question, isn't it? I suppose being inside doing it is the difference...but for me, it was delicious. Absolutely fucking delicious. Submitted for therealljidol. The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 17

[Lj Idol] week 4: Moments of devistating beauty [Thursday November 12th, 2009 at 11:14am ] It was just turning night, and I lay by my window breathing in the changing air. The scent, if that's what you could call it, from the leaving day, mingled with the coming night, and I drunk it in as others might drink in the changing from the light to dark. The wind was still, yet cold, and since it wasn't blowing, I daired to have my window open to it, laying with my face pressed against the screen, eyes pressed against it, even though I couldn't see. Outside the snow fell, hissing like so many butterfly's wings through the trees, then down onto the cold hard ground, and across the leaves that still lay lifeless and once dry. Still dry, as the snow was the type that while still wet, didn't feel that way. the few flakes that landed on the screen were small enough to light on my cheeks and make them sting a little; I didn't care. It was the only sound I heard for a long while. The silence of the night broken only by The snow coming to earth and piling outside my windo. I lay there listening to the hiss of it, the quiet sound it made as it hit the ground, then piled on top of itself. I kept thinking that this night couldn't have gotten any bettter: this was the most awesome thing in all the world... Then the lone owl hooted, long and low and gray. Shadows of wisdom that nearly lost themselves in the quiet hiss of the snow itself. It was then that I knew I had been wrong.... So so very wrong: The night had just gotten infinitely more awesome. This is my submition for week for of therealljidol on the topic: Moments of devistating beauty. Thank you for reading. The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 27

[lj idol] week 2: Uphill both ways, barefoot [Friday October 30th, 2009 at 5:46pm ] I lay back in bed listening to "Jack and Jill" Only it wasn't a CD: it was a record. One of those flexible kind the Library of Congress sent out with Magazine subscriptions. Eric liked Ranger Rick. So did I for that matter, though even then I'd never admit to that. The year was nineteen eighty-five: I was in Kindergarten. **** The braille Writer sat in front of me. I was in 2nd grade, and was writing out spelling centences. I would have strong hands from this, or would I? I'd been using a Perkins Brailer ever since I was practically in Kindergarten. The noise hasn't changed, even to this day, even with the newer electric Braillers. *** I hooked up the Braille N speak to the printer and was elated when I didn't have to scribe stuf to someone anymore: I could do this all on my own. It was something that would last a while then fade. I was a senior in high school then. This was my first foray into technology that made me seemingly like everyone else. I could turn my homework in in print, like the rest of my sighted friends and peers. *** But the real battles didn't start there. They started in college. I know what it's like to have, and not have. I'm in the generation that actually knows what the flying frak a record is. I'm in the generation where CD's were introduced. I'm in the generation where we still had to... Click ! the tape stopped as I wrote down the quote for my paper, hoping to God that I'd gotten the punctuation right. Rewinding to make sure I heard it write, editing in the few words I'd forgotten, then rewinding it to catch the page number the quote was on. It was 2000 and I was still in Indiana, going to Indiana university north west. I had a computer! My very first computer! I had books. I had internet. But the internet was dialup. The computer was one of the first pentium 3's Where the MHZ's were still in the nine hundreds and 512 RAM was just being introduced as was the 56K modems. My JAWS (Job Access With Speech) version was 3.7. I was on the computer a lot, but then I was more a writer/editor back then than I seem to be now. My novel about a girl who lived free in Chicago was one of the main things on my mind. Publishing had never once entered into my mind: My writing was my escape. I didn't do near the role play back then as I do now. Or not on such a large scale. *** Fast forward to three years later, and now I'm at FGCU. FGCU who had a T1 connection. FGCU who had an adaptive Services Office who handled getting my books for me. In electronic or CD format. FGCU that had online databases that I could pick through then Coppy/paste quotes out of the articles I wanted. No more worrying about trying to get punctuation right. No more having to worry about whether or not I misspelled an authors name; I could just paste that, too. No more waiting for the slowness that was dialup to pull up a page. Now it was only seconds and it was there. I got spoiled by FGCU in a lot of ways. There would be *no* freaking *way* I would be going back to dialup after that...no way in hell. It was bad enough that I had to put up with it durring the summers of the years I was there. After graduation? No more dialup. No more having to carry a record player around: Now it was a CD player I needed to worry about: A Telex Scholar that could read RFB and D books, MP3 CD's and regular ones, too. No more having to rely just on tapes for my notes: Out comes the trusty PAC (Personal All-purpose Computer) mate, and I could type with the best of them. --- In some ways I feel bad for some of the younger generations of blind kids out there. They're not on the cusp of the generation like I am. They'll never realize what it's like, unless they advocate for themselves, to do homework the way we did, worse yet, they won't realize what people even older than I had to go through to get through college. Many of us, myself included, had to climb uphill both ways, barefoot in order to keep up with our sighted peers. We have to do things more carefully, better, seemingly faster, stronger, than them in order to be recognized by them as even being half a person, a being with half a brain. Even then it doesn't work but half of the time. We are often seen as "amazing" or "superpeople" for doing what we do, when all we do is do things differently. Sure it may take us a bit longer (Although in some instances that is not the case at all) but at least we get it done. At least many of us are willing to try. We grow tired of trudging the hills, but we continue to do it because it is what we must do in order to strive to be the best many of us can be, it is what we must do if we wish to survive to become productive members of our society, our comunities, and our world. this my entry for week 2 of therealljidol thank you for reading The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 29

[lj idol] week 1: Empty Gestures [Wednesday October 21st, 2009 at 4:30pm ] A familiar refrain: "I'll be there for you, whenever you need it. If you need me to take you somewhere, just let me know, ok?" This could be anyone. Anyone at all. I pick up the phone. Dial. The person picks up and says they're available... But then something comes up at the last minute. They get sick, something happens with the family. They have a paper they need to do. It's an excuse that could very well be a valid one. ... If it happened once or twice perhaps, but not every time I pick up the phone. Not every time I want to do something with a friend. Not every time I have something planned out that I need you for, and now that you've bailed on me, I'm stuck because there's not enough time for me to call someone else to take the place of you. There's not even enough time to grab a cab to get there, and now those who were depending on me to be there will be thrown out of their own schedules because you bailed on me, and those who *Could* have picked me up can't; they're already there. Now I have to call around to see whether or not I can have someone else do the thing I was supposed to do because I can't be there to do it. Do you realize what this does to us? Do you realize what sort of a monkey wrench this throws at us? It isn't just me this affects; it's those who were expecting me to be there for my part in things. It's a ripple effect here. We trust you to mean what you say. To say what you mean. We trust you to be there for us through anything. Hell some of us even trust you with our lives. You do help guide us, after all. You help keep us safe by keeping us away from poles, away from curbs, away from dangers that we can't see, but you can. We trust you with our plans because sometimes our plans depend on you. You are our friends, or...are you really? Or is that refrain up there just another empty gesture. Another group of words that mean nothing but a promise that you will never keep; a word broken; discarded like so many other words you say. Discarded, that's how it makes us feel when you bail on us. It makes us feel as if we are an inconvenience to you. An inconvenience to the world at large. It reenforces the burden complex in some of us: The thing that says that we shouldn't even try to ask for help because we'll be imposing on the person, and then that person will have to be responsible for us, burdened with us. They will be held back by us. It isn't just nonverbal gestures that are empty; words can be just as much an empty, hollow bone as a visual. If not even more so. For words for some of us, are just as important as your visual gestures, for that is what our world is comprised of. Words and their meanings, words and their inflections, their tone and sincerety. Words are their own gestures of a person's character and intentions and hopes and fears. Pictures may tell a thousand words, but the inflections of your words tell us a thousand feelings, a thousand thoughts... We trust you, we need you. Please, don't jade us with your empty words and seeming lack of regard for our feelings; we hurt just as much as you do when this happens. It is just as much a betrayal to us as it is for you. We scream and rage just as much as you do when a friend doesn't do as they say, when they say it. If you don't like friends bailing on you, why, then would you do it to us? Empty gestures come in all forms. Those of us who can't see run up against our fair share of them too. People who run the other way while making it look as if they're not is a common complaint for us, and it frustrates us. Are we really that much of an inconvenience to those around us? What is it about us that makes others want to not do as they say? Is it because you have to go out of your way to include us? Is it because we're a "burden" to you? How often do you stop to pick up one of your other friends when they don't have a car? What makes us so different than they are? Is it because it's permanent with us, and not for them? Is it because you don't know how to act around us? Is it because you're afraid of us? Afraid you'll catch what we have? Afraid of hurting our sensibilities or our feelings by asking, "Hey, you need a ride? I'm happy to give you one." Let me eas that fear: We're just like you. Only our eyes don't work. We have our smart, our dumb, our ignorat, our downright nasty, just like you do. We have our geeks, our nirds, our jerks and assholes, the same as the rest of you. We're no different that way. It's just that we do things differently than you do, we depend on others in certain ways more than you do. Why oh why are there so many that throw empty promises at us...ones that they perhaps never intended to see through? Why is it that we are made to feel discarded, even if it wasn't the original intention? Empty gestures, empty words. Empty promises. Many times in our lives we have had these. Often times we don't say much about them because they happen to us time and time again, and we are afraid of driving those who know away from us by our bitching. We are afraid that the next time, it'll be someone who *did* have a valid excuse we smack down, and then we feel guilty for doing so, and have to appologize for our own lack of courtesy to someone who *was* truly in a bad place. A vicious circle this is. Which is why when we find a friend who is willing to go out of their way for us, whether it be online or in real life, we rejoice and celebrate because there is finally, finally, someone who sees us as people beyond our blindness. Someone who sees the blindness as a *part* of us; not the *hole* of who and what we are. Someone who understands, and isn't afraid they'll catch the blindness. Someone who appreciates us for our personality. Someone who sees past the blindness to who we are inside. Someone who will be honest with us, and isn't afraid of hurting us with the truth of their words, or their actions. ( Empty Words, Blackmore's Night. ) Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrSoKnwIku0 This is my entry for week one of therealljidol. Thank you for reading. The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 20

Activities of the last few days [Wednesday October 14th, 2009 at 4:12pm ] ( Sunday Sunday. ) ( Fun fun friends and FGCU ) Yesterday was a bum around the houseday where I helped mom with laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, stayed in PJ's for most of the day and was generally the lazy/productive little thing. Yes yes, contradictions, leave me alone, heh. Today was voice lessons and being behind the computer due to my participation in the therealljidolgreen room. :d Catch updone, you may now return to your regularly scheduled activities. Until the next stretch of wings. . . the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 10

[lj idol] week 0-introduction [Friday October 9th, 2009 at 4:11pm ] There is one who sits behind this computer for hours a day.(And some say too many ours a day) A person some people consider sane; others may say this one is as crazy as someone who walked out of a loony bin. This one no longer cares what others think. They will do as they wish. This one will, however, consider their affect on others and temper how they do things according to this, but this one will not compromise their concept of reality for anyone. Not anymore. Even if that concept has changed over the years to reflect something completely different than they had ever thought possible, or could ever have imagined for themselves. They live in an environment that is quickly teaching them that doing this is a very very bad idea. They also live with parents, a guide dog, three cats, and some of the most awesome people they could have ever hoped to have met. Most of which are here on this journal. Some of which live...elsewhere. It is not this one's place to say where that elsewhere is, however. This is the second time this one has participated in lj idol, and they hope to get out of it what they did on their first turn around the idol clock; a deep and honest look at who they are, and what they will become as they ride this roler coaster of a competition for as long as the votes allow them to. One thing they hope to become is a friend. Another thing they wish to gain is a lively sense of what it means to be surrounded by old faces and new. They would wish to remember what it is like to be surrounded by familiar writing styles and new ones. To be immeshed and uplifted by the senses of humor that are embodied in their fellow contestants. To gain a better mastery over their writing, as well as their skill at revising. Every competing season is different. Why should this season be any different? They are thinking this as they finish this post; as they tell you that much has changed and yet much has stayed the same. Much is still yet to be discovered. As many others have stated, this one hopes you will come to know them through their entries. However insane they may seem to you, or to those you know. However weird and whacky they might tturn out to be. This one's first introduction can be found here. If there are questions ask here or there. This one assures you: They will not bite. Or not without a very good reason, anyway. This is the first entry being posted for therealljidol. This one thanks you for reading. The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 35

lj idol throw down [Thursday October 8th, 2009 at 1:53pm ] I am here to state my intentions to play in this season; season six of therealljidol Thank you, you may now return to your regularly scheduled LJ reading. the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 10

Because I'm in the mood to write things out now [Friday July 17th, 2009 at 11:26am ] I feel horridly horrible because I've been home for about a week, and not only have I neglected this place, but I've alsso been a horrible slacker on my weekly prompts for the two coms I moderate. I assure you that will be fixed. If not by today, by tomorrow at the latest. ( convention miscelany ) We came home on Wednesday afternoon only to head a few hours later to sonnic for dinner. ( then there was the concert ) and now I've been home for a week, and while things have changed a little, Mom is still her worry wort self: I still feel like I'm stuck here, especially sinceI officially have no travel classes )And feel as if I can't go anywhere because even if I use the buses I don't have a GPS to tell me what streets I need to cross at my destination end) and I sometimes feel like (Along with my self, I won't deny that) they hold me back some. I know I shouldn't let them, but as someone can attest, it's not the easiest thing to do when the circlejerk comes into play. Anyway, that's about it for the catch up post: you may now return to your regularly scheduled lj programming. Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 7

I am alive [Friday June 12th, 2009 at 12:08pm ] ( girly TMI ) Book questions. I've heard about a series mentioned around the flist that has books dealing with a certain Kushiel. Kushiel's Mercy and Kushiel's Chosen come to mind. Which one is the first (I know there are more than just these two) and who are they by? I want to read them, damnit all. :d Until the next stretch of wings. . . the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 27

Wednesday Wednesday [Wednesday June 10th, 2009 at 8:24am ] Happy birthday sister_of_mikel! ( the rest. ) Until the next stretch of wings. . . the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 2

... Sunday Sunday [Sunday April 26th, 2009 at 9:57am ] FRJ+2 source_lessons and mr_kight welcome aboard. :) Morning routine Day whatever. Mom tells me that she still thinks it's too long before I take Lou out. Her idea of taking lou out is right after I get out of bed. My idea is to get in the shower, wash, dressed, do the whole brush teeth/wash face deal, feed him. Then after he's fed and a little watered, I take him out. This is exactly how we did it at school; the dogs were not the first ones out the door, *we* were, so to speak. Breakfast, however, was only *after* we'd taken care of our dogs. It was at seven thirty. I told her this and she's still like... I don't know, I still think it's too long. My dog, my responsibility. If he has an accident that's *my* problem, not yours. I've already had to clean up after him once. I think I can repeat the clean up procedure... if I had to. State of the Phoenix: reason 586093423 why I don't take naps on Saturdays after RP nights. I lay down at eight. rnb_capricorn woke me at nine forty to tell me she was going out to her cousin's birthday, and I thought it was Cheryl, lol! laid back down (serious bad move ya'll!) and Bethany woke me at 10:23. I spent time on the phone with he where she kept asking me questions that I had no answer for. Is dad in a lot of pain, etc, etc, either that or I kept having to repeat things for her half a million times. I like the girl, I really do, but if I had to explain that the reason they took dad's teeth out was because they were causing a fever, and that, yes, he *does* eat only soft things right now and no I *don't* know when they're going to give him false ones, and *yes* they were brown... I would have screamed! I tend to get defensive with her without meaning to, only because she asks these sorts of questions, and other questions that I really can't answer, either because I *don't* have the answer, or because I, myself, didn't ask the question... because I don't think these sort of things are important. Go someone who lost their sight advantageously (no offense to those on my flist who have, mind, but yeah) So then I proceeded to be up until about o'dark 30 (sorry shadowwolf13 couldn't resist, :p) which was actually about three or so, then crawled into bed. I have gotten sucked into the dragcave, and I will be making a filter. Those of you who wish to be *on* said filter please to be commenting here, thank you. I will not post eggs until then, I grabbed an abandoned one to start with and it's an earth. So. Those of you who I'm putting in by default because you have them are the following: m_barnette rhymer_713 tiltedsideways falkie Anyone else? Running on this much sleep)about four hours from three to about seven thirty)=food does wonders. Breakfast was biscuits and sausage gravy. and it was awesome. :) the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 11

Article: Gide for muslam woman is tiny horse [Friday April 10th, 2009 at 11:29am ] Sourse for story: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-horse-blindmuslim,0,6044433.story ( for the linkphobic. Story under cut ) This? IMO is why I support the use of horses for guides. Those with religious ophiliations other than Cristianity, and those who feel certain animals are unclean should be considered, also. Isn't, in theory, what this country is about, freedom of choice? Why, then, are we so willing to tak away someone's freedom to choose a guide animal? Doesn't this, in some ways, take away their religious freedom? Because, in a sense the ADA's language and wording is forcing some to choose despite what their religion says about said animal(s)? I understand that some animals may not be sutable, but to tell a muslam family that they will have to bring an animal they feel is unclean into their home would be... wrong, imho. Discuss? Be respectful please. The Phoenix PS: this entry is public, feel free to send others here for discussion purposes. The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 12

tagging frenzy [Sunday March 15th, 2009 at 3:41pm ] Has it really been six years since I began my journey with LJ? It seems somehow hard to believe. It is also hard to believe that this entry will be my 1551st. Most of my entries are in total disorganization, however, which is starting to make me all kinds of frustrated and a little sad. Looking back, I probably should have tagged from the ground up, because now if I do want to tag, I have to go back and manually do it, and the thought of tagging 11550 entries does not fill me with joy. What-so-effing-ever. But then again back then, I didn't think I would need tags, so I didn't use them. Now though... Why does the perverbial hindsight have to be 2020? ug... Lazy after birthday Sunday where dad had to go to work {really really odd} Mom went over to Grandpa's to clean up {not at all unexpected} and where they went out to get coshions for the pontoon boat that was purchased several months ago. Mom did reiki on me, and I'm beginning to wonder about some things. She used a pendulum. She told me that it would spin clockwise, then counter clockwise and that meant everything was ok, but that if it started going back and forth, there were issues. So... she did it and wherever it did that, she used her finger to stir the energy counterclockwise to remove the negativity, then brought the love and peace and stuff in by stirring clockwise with said finger. Something about that just... I dunno, seemed a little weird for me. It seemed to help though, I got chills all through my body and then a warmth after, but something seemed to tell me that I might do it a little different. Is this... like normal or something? I told her about how my teacher said to do it, {full self treatment, or full body treatment on someone else that takes about a half hour} and she was like, woe. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have gone to the level one to figure out the differences between the way D... teaches and my first reiki teacherdid his thing. It was so many years ago, though... I wonder how much I would have remembered. Mom went to wal-mart to pick up some things, and just now got back. It's nice to have had the house to myself for the most part all day. Or at least that's what it's felt like with Dad asleep and Mom running around. I might go on a JD robb kick now that I have enough to feel like I can sort of reconstruct the series without the huge book gaps that I'd had before acquiring several of the most recent titles. Even if they can be red on their own, it's kind of nice to know that I can go from 1 title to another and pick up the references you'd otherwise miss if you have the misfortune of reading them out of order. Thankfully those references are somewhat explained throughout the books so you know what the hell they talk about. Still having Naked, Glory and Immortal in Death {books one, two and three respectively} and being able to read them straight through is going to be a treat in and of itself. :) the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 18

thievery part 4 I hink :d [Friday February 13th, 2009 at 9:22am ] ETA: FRP+3 welcome to the insanity that is my life othergalaxy :) From the comments we've exchanged already, I can safely say I'm glad you sought me out. State of the phoenix I was in bed before midnight, and slept through to just before Mom left for work which was about ten to nine or so. For most of that time I was dead to the world. I intook a tea called breath Easy that hat ucoliptus pepperment and other things in it. I'm not sure whether or not some of the things in it made you sleepy or what, but that was some of the best sleep I've had in a hell of a long time, and I actually feel more rested today than I've remembered feeling in a while. On deck: job searching Bookshare searching calling various people making sure I have discussion questions laid out for Mondays PW topic {yeh yeah it's Friday, so what?} building a couple of sample characters if I can figure out what mods certain prestige classes need. I can never remember how many skill points to start out with. Irks me because I should know this by now. Meh. It doesn't help that one of the ones I build has special circumstances that make it a little more complicated. Ah well. It'll be fun in any case. If I can turn out these two, maybe one of them'll actually jump out at me and then I won't have to worry about having to decide who to play. :) That does happen most times after all... most times, anyway. Friday. It is here, bitches! the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 8

I have got to post this daily Niel! [Friday February 6th, 2009 at 8:27am ] On this day of your life, Sarah, I believe God wants you to know... ....that creativity is not something you wait for. It is something that waits for you. You must decide to be creative, not wait to be. You must challenge yourself. Pick up the brush. Grab hold of the camera. Turn on the computer. Start cooking the meal. Get to the workplace early. Propose the solution. Advance the idea. Become the answer. How do you suppose these very words were written by me? Do you think I have time to wait for "an inspiration"? I must be the inspiration. And so must you. Print this out and put it right in front of you today. Love, Your Friend.... Niel The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes

Happiness meme day 2 [Tuesday January 6th, 2009 at 10:52am ] 1) it feels good to be able to map out my spending. :) 2) I heard a read-sholdered hawk this morning. Their voices always make me happy. I'm thinking of trying to back up my journals {yes again} the thing is, I'll miss my comments. :( but I don't want to lose my entries either, especially in here. a little over eight years is a lot... I've been reflecting on how best to describe the whole computer thing to my parents, and have just decided to let it lie for now. I still don't agree with them that the computer controls my life, though. And the more I think about it, the more the fact that my dad said that *he* would give my dog a bath if *I* didn't pisses me off. It just really does. A nother thing: Just because you don't talk to me like a child/baby doesn't mean you can't be condescendingly voiced, either. Choppy speach and spit out words in this sort of high piched voice constitutes that, too. Seriously. Ah well; enough of that. :d I used one of Lush's shampoo bars this morning, and am now inlove. :) it is so incredibly awesom to know that this thing will last me a hell of a lot longer than liquid shampoo, too, and it lathers so much better IMO. Just... wow. I have the life coach tomorrow; she has Mom on Friday. I am thinking Mom'll be bringing up the compie thing again; I'm prepared for that. I may; I may bnot, it depends. But the more things like this happen, the more I want the fuck out of here. and the less my tolerance for such things grows. Until the next stretch of wings. . . the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 14

PSA: Missing child alert! [Tuesday December 9th, 2008 at 6:40pm ] If you can do anything to help find this person, or know any info, please don't hesitate to pass it along. Details can be found at the following link: http://narniarose.livejournal.com/63920.html Thanks guys, really. the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 2

[lj idol] week 10- you're so vain, you think this topic is about you [Friday December 5th, 2008 at 8:17am ] Your so vain, you think this topic is about you, well, in this case it is. But contrary to what this topic would mean to some: it won't be about *me* It isn't often that I come across a person who has the power to change someone's very existence. It also isn't often that I have the very distinct pleasure of knowing this person for going on four years now (marking by Christmases; this will be our fourth) and being apart of not only their lives, but their family's lives too. It isn't often that I can say that I've actively enjoyed it, and have done so since day one. Over the years this person has seen me ggo through a shit ton of stuff; they've listened to me bitch endlessly about my parents (them and others, too) they've expressed sadness at several things that have gone on with me (Grandma in nursing home, etc.) I've been able to commiserate with them on the frustrations surrounding several situations. The first year we met, they surprised the hell out of me by sending me a present for Christmas (which I still have, BTW) and it nearly blew me away. I in turn have expressed sadness/joy/frustration when certain situations have come up where it was called for. Sometimes even anger. Especially if a situation comes up that surrounds a cause that we are both passionate about. Over the past four years, this person has given me much encouragement, much food for thought, and has helped keep me from going stir crazy in an environment that I would very much like to be out of just now. They and several others began a role play campaign about three or so years ago, that we are still running on, This person has sat up nights with me when neither of us could sleep, They've had faith in me when I thought nearly no one else did, and when I've had almost none in myself, and no matter how extremely random I've become (or scattered) during our online conversations, nothing about me seems to phase them, and I do mean nothing. They have introduced me to several new and interesting artists )Yea Synthia McQuillin!) :) They've certainly made my life a lot richer and fuller for being in it. Throu out the years, I've grown to love and cherish them; to allmost call them like another parent (this time by choice) They join the ranks of two others that fill this role, and like these other two, this person is a woman: A very remarkable one. Had it not been for the internet, however, she and I would have never met. If it weren't for the internet, I'm not sure either of us would have even known the other existed. I now declare, this Friday, december 5th, 2008, honor aerdran day. Thank you; you deserve your own day to be vain and damn proud of the many things you've managed to accomplish. :)I know I certainly am. You make me proud every day. Proud to call you friend. :) Oh- and before I go, thank you for being such a wonderful friend, it is most certainly very very much appreciated. :) :) :) I hope we have just as many years, and longer to remain friends, I love you. this is my entry for week 10 (I think? I've lost track now!) of therealljidol Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this, please toss a vote my way when the polls go up! :) the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 29

Poll closed... [Wednesday November 26th, 2008 at 1:09pm ] I made it! Aaaaaah I made, it, through! ::only by two votes, though:: eeeee!!! That is all children. I now return you tlo your regularly scheduled lives. the Phoenix PS, whew... ::stops biting nails now:: The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 8

early morning request [Wednesday November 26th, 2008 at 7:36am ] Still not able to get on windows live. OK I am, but I *still* wouldn't be able to see my contact list, bleh! I am in a run off for lj idol, and It closes at one o'clock EST today! Eeeks! If you want to vote, pleas go here! I actually got up when I wanted to today; yea! I missed my write in last night. Poo. I met the goal for yesterday, though, yea! So there will be a nano related post coming soon. :d I've stopped trying to make the wc, this thing's just taken too much of a different direction for that. I mean seriously. :p OK need caffine and food, see yall later! the Phoenix The Phoenix Sings ‡ Silvery Notes 1

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